


love that's gonna break me in two

by dis_connected



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Underage Drinking, aquaria blair and vanessa are sophomores everyone else is a senior, aquaria has a panic attack in part two, aquaria spends most of the time staring at cracker, idk why this is so long literally nothing happens, imagine having space for other people, lesbian highschool au, not that i talk about them, ok shut up now, she is whipped, sorry x, this is so fucking long i am so sorry, wow innovative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 06:10:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dis_connected/pseuds/dis_connected
Summary: Aquaria loves parties, but not as much as she loves seeing a pretty blonde girl who doesn't know she exists.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i said to myself i don't know why this is long, but aquaria spends over 2500 words thinking brianna is straight so ... i guess there's that

Aquaria loves parties. The process of meticulously doing her makeup, deciding on which flawless look she’ll go for, turning up in a beautiful outfit that is likely to turn a multitude of heads, eyes on her the whole night. She loves it all, even the shitty house parties that are thrown almost every weekend at her high school. Living in a town full of rich kids has its benefits – parents with high-paying jobs leaving their children alone in their mansions for days on end being Aquaria’s favourite.

Even though she’s only a sophomore, she’s popular and hot enough to still be invited to senior parties, most of which she shows up to, when her mom lets her go. Despite being openly gay, and never showing even a slight interest in guys, Aquaria is still constantly approached by guys, or couples wanting threesomes. It makes her sad that everybody seems to think she’s so overtly sexual, just because she’s pretty. Aquaria is still a virgin, and has only ever had one drunken kiss with a girl who held absolutely no feelings for her, leaving her heart vulnerable.

In fact, though she doesn’t like to admit it, the main reason Aquaria likes to turn up to these parties, discounting her obsession with her public image, is a senior who goes by the name of Brianna. Aquaria has never spoken to her before, but she’s been admiring her beauty since her first day of high school when Brianna waltzed past her with her friends, hips swaying, her blonde hair cascading down her back, and she was hit in the face by just how gorgeous she was. When people ask Aquaria what her type is, all she can think of is Brianna.

Unfortunately, the senior rarely attends parties, the reason unknown to Aquaria. Every time she actually happens to be there when she shows up, Aquaria always tells herself that she’ll approach her, actually talk to her, even just to tell the girl that she likes her makeup or outfit. But, she always stands watching from afar with a dreamy look in her eyes as Brianna stands around being beautiful, before leaving with some guy Aquaria doesn’t know, but hates.

Aquaria knows it’s stupid to have such a huge crush a girl that’s not only two years older than her, but also straight. Her best friend Blair has been supportive of everything she’s done since they met, but even she has to admit that Brianna will do nothing but break Aquaria’s heart. Aquaria bats her off every time, telling her it’s just harmless admiration, but she’s not convincing Blair, let alone herself. Even Vanessa, who isn’t normally someone who cares to talk about feelings, has warned her friend against doing something she’ll regret.

But it’s not like Aquaria _wanted_ to have a crush of Brianna, or be gay for that matter. It just _happened_ , whether she likes it or not.

Still, Aquaria tries to see the beautiful girl when she can, which is why she accepted the latest party invite.

It’s safe to say, however, she’s not having a good time. Getting ready with Vanessa and Blair, she was feeling herself, deciding to go dramatic and dark, with a tight fitting black dress, for once tying her black hair into a sleek ponytail. It was a _look_ , and dancing around to Beyoncé made her feel like a million dollars, but when she turns up, she worries it’s a bit above high school standards. Yes, she is known for being extra and she loves it, but she starts to feel a little self-conscious as she looks at a girl wearing lipgloss, and not a whole lot else, on her face or her body.

“Don’t worry,” Blair tries to reassure her, squeezing her hand. Vanessa has already left them to make out with some junior in the corner, which is so typical, and her friends love her for it. “You look great.”

Aquaria smiles at her number one supporter, feeling a little better. It’s not long, however, before Blair herself is whisked off by a girl Aquaria doesn’t even know. Defeated, she grabs herself another drink and sips it quietly in the corner.

It’s not her night. She’s not seen Brianna once either, at least watching her gives her something to do. She could dance, but she’s not in the mood, and the music that’s blasting is shit.

Aquaria is starting to feel slightly sick. The alcohol she’s had has hit her, and she’s at the stage just past tipsy before drunk where her head is spinning and she hates it.

She needs to get out of here, away from the music.

Aquaria decides to explore the house a little, since she’s never been to a party here before, and it’s huge and beautiful.

Whoever is hosting obviously knew better than to leave anything valuable out, however, so Aquaria heads upstairs to see what she can find.

Big mistake.

As soon as opening a random door, she’s immediately face-to-face with two guys in her year, doing something the complete opposite of holy.

“Jesus!” one of them exclaims as Aquaria quickly averts her eyes.

“O-oh my god, I’m so s-sorry,” she manages to stutter out, quickly shutting the door again and taking a few steps back, her eyes burning.

She wants to find a bathroom, but is too scared to open any more doors in case she walks in on something else she would rather not see. Instead, she stands in the corridor dumbfounded, about to call her mom to pick her up, or Blair to come to save her, when she hears the sound of raised voices from behind a closed door close to her.

“I can’t believe you would do this to me!” The girl’s voice is muffled, and Aquaria feels bad for listening, but she can’t seem to move, as her curiosity gets the better of her.

“Look, babe, it’s not that big a deal-” the boy replies.

“Not! That! Big! A! Deal!” The girl’s speech is interrupted by whacks and thumps and yells of protest, and Aquaria can only assume she’s hitting her boyfriend with something. It makes her a little happy. “We’re over, okay. Don’t follow me!”

The next thing Aquaria knows, the door opens and a girl runs out, her head down. Aquaria tries not to look suspicious, but the girl looks up and catches her eye as she rushes past her, tears mixed with mascara streaming down her cheeks.

It’s Brianna.

Oh shit.

Aquaria watches, a little dumbfounded, as the girl she has a somewhat obsession with rushes down the stairs. It’s make or break time.

Without thinking about it, Aquaria follows her, trying to keep up as Brianna storms through the house, ignoring her friends asking if she’s okay, and yanks open a door in the living room she hadn’t noticed before.

It’s a small garden, not the front garden that people are mulling around in right now, but a little patch of grass with a swing set and slide covering most of it.

Aquaria hovers in the doorway, watching as Brianna slumps down on a swing, her curvaceous body barely able to fit in something made for a child, sobbing into her hands. She hasn’t noticed Aquaria, who feels awkward, wondering why she chose _this_ moment to finally decide to speak to her crush.

Just as she’s about to turn away and try to forget about it, she hears Brianna mumble a clear _why is it always me?_ to herself, and Aquaria’s heart breaks. She knows she has to attempt to comfort the crying girl, even though it’s definitely not her strong suit.

Aquaria cautiously walks up to the swings, sitting next to Brianna timidly, her petite body pushing against the straps.

Brianna must notice her presence, as she sniffles slightly, before glancing up.

She’s a little shocked to see Aquaria sitting next to her, looking embarrassed and pitying, chewing on her red-coated lip.

Aquaria thinks Brianna still looks gorgeous – her blonde, carefully curled hair has become rustled and matted, her makeup smudged and she has two nails broken, yet something about her still takes Aquaria’s breath away.

“Um, hi,” she whispers, attempting to swallow down her nerves. “I’m –I didn’t mean to, um, intrude. I just, well, my name’s-”

“Aquaria, yeah, I know who you are,” Brianna smiles in spite of her sadness. Of course she knows Aquaria, she made it her mission to be known by everybody in the school the moment she arrived.

“You do?” Aquaria seems surprised, for some reason.

“Yeah, I always see you at these things.”

Aquaria has never known that Brianna even glanced her way, and she spends all the time looking at her, which means she must be aware of Aquaria’s huge crush on her.

“Well, I saw you run out here and came to see if you’re okay,” she says, her face flushing.

Brianna smiles sadly at her, wiping a tear from a cheek. “I’m just so fed up of boys.”

 _Then date me_ , Aquaria wants to say, but knows she would never dare.

“Boys suck,” she says instead, truth ringing in her words. “They’re not worth your tears.”

“I know, it’s just – hold on, my ass hurts from sitting in this swing. Don’t know why I sat in it,” Brianna cuts herself off, pushing herself up and settling down on the grass instead, hugging her knees to her chest. Aquaria can’t help but laugh at her adorable goofiness, sliding her body down next to Brianna, edging a little closer to try to offer the girl comfort.

“I feel like no matter what I do, I get hurt. Guys just want me for my body, and then they discard me for the next girl that looks their way. I thought – I _actually_ thought – it would be different this time. I guess I’m just unlovable. Am I really that bad, Aquaria?”

Oh shit, she’s been asked a question. Aquaria takes a breath, trying to decide what to say, because obviously she thinks Brianna is the most incredible human to ever grace planet earth.

“N-no, I don’t think so,” she manages to stutter. The blonde girl sighs, leaning her head back so it’s resting against the pole of the swing set.

“Sorry, I’m sorry. You don’t even know me. You don’t have to sit here watching me cry like some pathetic weirdo,” she says.

“No, it’s okay,” Aquaria attempts to show Brianna that there’s nothing to worry about by placing her manicured hand on her knee gently, something Blair has done to her many times in the past, scooting a little closer so her arm isn’t stretched out at a weird angle. “I, um, I mean, I’ve always kind of wanted to, um, talk to you, I guess. It’s just, you seem really nice. Sorry.”

Her cheeks light up, but thankfully Brianna doesn’t seem to mind her awkwardness, instead smiling genuinely at the black-haired girl, whose insides instantly melt like butter.

“Thank you, Aquaria. That’s really sweet of you.”

Of all the things Aquaria is used to being called, sweet is not one of them. Bitchy, yes. Fierce, yes. Gorgeous, yes. But sweet? This has to be the first time.

“You’re just picking the wrong people, Brianna. Plenty of people would feel grateful to have you,” she says, an unexpected surge of confidence waving over her. _Like me_.

“Do you think so?” Brianna asks, her eyes shining, from tears and something Aquaria can’t quite recognise. She simply nods, slowly, hoping the girl can’t recognise how whipped she is.

Unfortunately, Aquaria’s phone starts buzzing from her purse that she discarded. Muttering an apology, she reluctantly withdraws her hand from Brianna’s knee, to reach around for it. Seeing its Blair, she decides to answer, knowing if she doesn’t the brunette will worry.

“Hey, sorry for leaving you. Where are you?” Blair says in her ear. Aquaria glances at Brianna, who is looking at her intently, her head resting on her knee where the younger girl’s hand was just lying.

“Um,” she starts, knowing that if she reveals where she is, and more importantly _who_ she’s with, Blair will undoubtedly freak out, and that she does not what to explain to Brianna. “I’m okay.”

“Good, well, I’m going home now, my mom’s here. Do you need a ride?”

Aquaria needs a ride. Her mom told her that she wouldn’t pick her up later, so Blair is the only way to get home, besides walking, which she does _not_ want to do. However, with her mind overtaken by thoughts of Brianna and sitting there in the garden, the music of the party sounding so distant despite it being so close and so loud, Aquaria finds herself declining.

“No, I’m good. Speak to you tomorrow, love you,” she says, before hanging up.

“You don’t have to sit with me,” Brianna repeats, and Aquaria realises for the first time that she’s drunk, drunker than she is, her eyes blinking softly at Aquaria, illuminated by the lights of the house.

“It’s okay, Bri,” Aquaria whispers, deciding to test the waters and reach out to touch the blonde girl’s arm gently.

Aquaria is a confident person. She knows what she wants, and she tends to get it. On the one hand, she knows that if Brianna were to for some reason show any interest in her tonight, it would likely be because of her intoxication and vulnerability, not because she likes Aquaria. On the other hand, kissing Brianna might finally satisfy all the feelings Aquaria had been having ever since she first laid eyes on her, and allow her crush to go away. Or, it could backfire completely and her crush could get a million times worse.

Aquaria weighs up her options. The last she wants to do is take advantage of Brianna, that’s not the kind of person she is. She would only ever do anything if the blonde showed equal willingness.

Aquaria’s whirring mind is interrupted by Brianna scooting her body closer to her. She keeps scooting until the girls' thighs are pressed together, and then rests her head on the black haired girl’s shoulder.

Aquaria feels a twinge in her stomach. She can feel Brianna’s breath on her slender arm, and despite the heat of it, her whole body contorts in a shiver.

“What are you doing to me, Brianna?” she whispers aloud. Cautiously, she reaches a hand up to stroke the blonde hair that’s tickling her chin.

“Do you like me, Aquaria?” Brianna asks after a pause.

“What?” the black-haired girl says dumbly, her stomach flipping over as Brianna lifts her head from her should and stares her directly in the eyes. The younger girl blinks quickly, her nerves rising.

“Do you have a crush on me?” Brianna repeats slowly.

Aquaria misunderstands.

“I’m sorry,” she says, standing up quickly and grabbing her purse, her face burning. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to take advantage, um, I’ll leave you-”

Brianna grabs her wrist, pulling the girl back down. She’s surprisingly strong, for someone so small, and Aquaria topples down, twisting her heeled ankle in the process and therefore landing on top of the blonde, pushing her backwards so she falls on her elbows.

“Oh my god-” Aquaria breaths, but Brianna is smiling, looking pleased with herself. Like this is exactly what she hoped would happen.

“Shh,” she whispers, bringing her face closer to the younger girls. Aquaria’s eyes flicker down to her plump lips and her breath hitches, before she remembers herself.

“Oh god,” she says, turning her head quickly and getting off of Brianna, who looks hurt and a little confused, sitting up with her legs crossed.

“I can’t figure you out, Aquaria. I thought you liked me?” her voice sounds cracked and broken, and Aquaria mentally slaps herself for making this go so wrong.

“I do, I _do_ and that’s the problem. You’re vulnerable, and drunk, and need someone who cares about you, _anyone_ , and I’ve liked you for so long and I’m not going to take advantage of you. And I’m not getting hurt but a straight girl who won’t be interested when she’s sober,” she babbles, very aware of how stupid she sounds.

“Aqua,” Brianna’s voice whispers in her ear, sending chills up and down her spine. “You’re overthinking. Just because I’ve been drinking, doesn’t mean I’m drunk. And I never said I was straight.”

Aquaria can’t look at her.

“You were with a guy-”

“There’s a broader spectrum than just gay, or just straight. What I know right now is you’re gorgeous, and kind, and cute, and you like me past what I look like. And, that I want to kiss you. Really badly.”

Aquaria pauses, knowing that if she passes up this opportunity Blair and Vanessa will kill her and she wouldn’t be able to live with herself.

“You promise you won’t regret this?” she breathes, although it’s hard to care at this point.

Brianna has already started to come closer again, placing her delicate hand on Aquaria’s cheek, who jumps at the contact. She’s frozen in place as the blonde’s face starts to inch closer to hers. _Is this really happening?_

“I won’t.”

At the last second, Aquaria remembers herself, and who she is supposed to be, _confidence and beauty_ , and wraps an arm around Brianna’s waist closing her eyes as the lips she’s been thinking about since her first day of high school finally meet hers.

It’s a motherfucking _kiss_.

It’s gentle, and sweet, and Brianna tastes of vodka and strawberry lipgloss. Aquaria brings her free hand up to sweep the blonde’s messy hair from her face, laying her hand to rest gently on the back of her head. Brianna smiles at the contact, deepening the kiss slightly into something a little more passionate. She’s kneeling over Aquaria, whose head is tilted back, to gain height on her. One hand rests on Aquaria’s thigh where her dress has hitched up slightly –

There’s a gasp.

The girls pull apart and look up to see Monét, a senior and Brianna’s best friend, standing in the doorway looking shocked. Monét lives on Aquaria’s street, and the two have known each other as acquaintances for a long time. Aquaria’s face flushes, however, glancing at Brianna, she sees only a dopey grin on her face, Aquaria’s lipstick smudged around her mouth and no sense of embarrassment _at all_.

“Miss Cracker _,_ you cheeky bitch,” says Monét, excitement evident in her tone. “I came out to this beloved swing set of yours to make sure you were okay, and here you are, living it up with Miss Aquaria like it’s the last day on earth.”

“Monét,” says Brianna, her smile growing wider. “I love you, but please fuck off.”

“I hear you. Have fun, ladies,” the girl winks, before turning on her heel and walking back into the house.

Miss _Cracker_?

“Is your surname actually Cracker?” Aquaria asks curiously.

“No, it’s a nickname. Because, Brianna Cracker. Like Brie on a Cracker. It’s stupid,” Brianna chuckles awkwardly as she attempts to explain something that now makes her feel so dumb.

“It’s a little cheesy,” Aquaria wiggles her perfect eyebrows, cracking a grin, as Brianna laughs loudly, shaking her head.

“I can’t believe I just laughed at that,” she says.

“Face it, I’m funny _and_ pretty.”

Brianna giggles, and Aquaria can’t help but smile. Just a few hours ago, this girl was like a character from a movie that she obsessed over, and now she’s sitting on the floor at a random party having just kissed her like, as Monét put it, there was no tomorrow. Something else Monét said registers in Aquaria’s mind, as she realises that Brianna knows this place and nobody else has bothered them outside.

“Brianna?” she questions, earning a murmur of a response. “Do you _live_ here?”

“Yeah, why?” Brianna is fiddling with the hem on her dress, not knowing what to do with her hands that were just resting on Aquaria’s body.

“I just think it’s really nice. So this is your party?”

“Oh, thanks. Technically. I’ve not really been that involved in it, have I?” Brianna chuckles, having escaped with her ex-boyfriend not long after it started, and then Aquaria.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Aquaria whispers, after a small pause, feeling her confidence come back a little after the make-out session.

“I love secrets,” Brianna says. She lays down on the back, staring at the stars, and Aquaria follows her lead, their hair brushing together.

“I only came because I wanted to see you,” she says. Brianna looks at her, their faces inches apart, her eyes filled with tears and happiness.

“Aquaria, I don’t even know what to say,” she whispers, but it turns out she doesn’t have to say anything, because the black-haired girl decides to initiate the kiss this time, her kiss this time more passionate and hard, expressing everything she’s been feeling for so long.

Brianna pushes herself on her elbows, opening her mouth and sliding her tongue along Aquaria’s lips in an attempt to gain some control over the younger girl, who immediately gives in to her. Their kiss is full of lust and perfectly highlights Aquaria’s feelings for the blonde, seemingly to go on forever.

After they finally pull away, breathless, they lay on their backs, spending time talking and laughing with each other about anything and everything, their hands clasped together and their bodies pressed against each other.

Aquaria finally notices the chill in the air and shivers in her small dress, wondering what the time is.

She pulls out her phone and realises with a start it’s already half eleven. It’s been a fairly warm day, but Aquaria likes heat. She doesn’t want to tell Brianna this though, out of fear of ruining this perfect moment. She would rather die of hypothermia right now than leave the girl lying next to her.

Brianna, however, notices the goosebumps running up and down her bare arms and the shift in tone, and feels guilty.

“Are you cold? We could go upstairs and grab you a jacket to borrow, if you want.”

The thought of being in Brianna’s room puts Aquaria’s head in a spin, and it’s not the alcohol, because that’s mainly all faded now.

“Yeah, I would like that,” she smiles, and the blonde pulls herself up, offering her hands to Aquaria, who gladly lets herself be pulled up, again amazed at the astonishing strength the older girl demonstrates.

 _Must ask her about that_ , she makes a mental note, as Brianna leads her by the hand through her house.

Aquaria had almost forgotten that a party was going on, but most people are wasted by now and pay them no attention as Brianna weaves her way through the groups of people.

The girls head up the stairs, and reach a door on the end. Brianna reaches into her bra and pulls out a key, reluctantly letting go of Aquaria’s hand so she can unlock the door, before immediately taking it again as she pushes the door open with her foot.

“No way anybody was fucking in my bed,” she says, shutting the door behind them.

Aquaria takes a second to look around, remarking at the size of the room and how beautifully it’s decorated, her queen-sized bed sitting right in the middle. Pictures scatter the walls, and Aquaria notices Monét featuring in many of them, as well as other people she knows from school, and the boy Brianna was arguing with when Aquaria got here.

Brianna notices her looking and her face blushes pink. She hurries over and starts ripping down the pictures of him on the walls.

“Sorry, I, um, honestly had forgotten about him, already, thanks to you,” she says, chucking the pictures in her bin without a second thought. Aquaria smiles, wondering if she’ll ever make it on the light pink walls.

“So, a jacket?” Brianna smiles, reminding the black haired girl of the reason they came up here. “You can pick one if you want.”

Aquaria picks out a baggy black hoodie, slipping it on over her dress. It smells like Brianna. _Fucking hell, I am whipped_ , she thinks, and finds it hard to care.

Brianna watches the younger girl as she slips on her hoodie, drool practically running down her chin as she stares at her physique. She sits on the bed, feeling slightly tired, but not at all wanting Aquaria to go home.

The girl turns to look at her and gives her a beaming smile, her eyes crinkling adorably. Her hair has started to slip out of the neat ponytail from the time they were lying on the floor together, and her makeup is a little smudged.

 _Oh shit_ , Brianna realises finally that her makeup must be ruined from the crying she did from fighting with her ex.

“I’m taking my makeup off,” she tells Aquaria, leaping up and heading into her ensuite bathroom. She almost screams when she looks in the mirror. She looks like a _rat_. How Aquaria could be attracted by her right now when she’s the definition of beauty, she has _no_ idea.

She quickly washes her face, and uses wipes to take off her remaining makeup. She decides to use the toilet whilst she’s here, and, since last night’s pajamas are on the floor, she slips into them and ties her messy hair back from her face, trying to look as presentable as possible for the girl waiting in her room.

When she comes out the bathroom, Aquaria is sitting on her bed, looking at the photos on her walls still, and taking in all the Brianna-ness of it. Her eyes flick to the blonde, who looks incredibly cute in baggy pink shorts and a top with _Sleeping Beauty_ printed on it, as well as an image of the princess.

“Don’t laugh, I know I’m too old to love Disney,” Brianna smiles, but Aquaria had no intention of laughing at the pure adorableness standing before her. She sits on her bed next to the younger girl, wondering what to do next.

Aquaria realises with a start that she has no way of getting home, besides walking which would take at least half an hour, and it’s almost midnight now. She knows it’s worth it, otherwise nothing would have happened with the girl whose _bed_ she’s sitting on, _wrapped in her hoodie_ , but she’s contemplating calling Blair, who’s probably sleeping, to ask her to rescue her from the dark streets of Brooklyn.

“Are you okay?” Brianna asks, concerned that Aquaria has panic written all over her face.

“It’s stupid, but I just realised I have no way to get home. I told Blair I was fine earlier so I could stay with you,” she admits, feeling like an idiot, but Brianna just smiles at her.

“Aquaria, you know we’re at my house? You can sleep here if you want to. I mean, you don’t have to stay in my bed, we’ve got loads of guest rooms, I could-”

“I would love to,” Aquaria breathes, smiling at Brianna in complete gratitude. And nervousness. This night has been _unbelievable_. She’s terrified that she’s going to wake up in her own bed and it will have all been a dream. But then she thinks of Brianna’s strong hands on her body, and knows her mind isn’t good enough to make that up.

“I hate being alone in this house, anyway,” the blonde whispers. Her parents’ work rarely require them to go away, but when it does, Brianna absolutely can’t stand being alone here. Any tiny noise, and she freaks out. Normally, she would force Monét or someone to stay over, or simply turn up at their houses, but she jumps at the chance of having Aquaria being the one to wake up to in the morning.

“I’ll just text my mom,” Aquaria smiles, quickly sending her a text to tell her she’s staying over at Blair’s. She also texts Blair, informing her of the lie, in case she needs her to back it up. She knows she’s going to have to explain that one in the morning, and she almost can’t wait after the night she’s had with Brianna, the crush she thought could never be.

The girls get ready for bed, Aquaria borrowing more clothes from Brianna that she desperately wants to steal. The music is still thumping downstairs, and Brianna sighs, realising that people are not going to be leaving any time soon. She almost thinks that this party was a bad idea, but catches herself when she sees Aquaria staring at her with a small smile on her face, her eyes shining. Her face is now free of makeup, and her hair up in a messy bun, and the blonde thinks she looks just as good.

“You are so cute,” Brianna tells her, cupping her face in her hands and kissing her lips gently. The girls climb under the covers, leaving the lights on. Brianna has locked the door, the last thing she wants is drunken weirdos coming in and ruining this for her.

They lie on their backs, inches apart, neither wanting to be the first to say or do anything. Aquaria’s mind is buzzing and she feels like crying after everything that has happened. She wants to scream up her thanks to Jesus, and Blair and Vanessa for leaving her alone, and Brianna’s ex-boyfriend for being a dick, and the stars aligning or whatever.

Brianna turns to lie on her side, attracting Aquaria’s attention, who does the same. They lie facing each other, the tips of their noses grazing, both of their eyes drooping from exhaustion.

“Goodnight, Aqua,” Brianna whispers as the music thumps below them, suddenly seeming strangely calming.

Aquaria doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when she wakes up, she’s wrapped tightly in Brianna’s strong arms, head against her chest. Aquaria’s starting to think this girl is an actual superhero, and there’s a lot more layers to her than the blonde bombshell she originally had a crush on.

She smiles, nestling into Brianna’s embrace, and falls back asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aquaria becomes a ninja. Brianna reveals who she really is. Blair and Monét get involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up party people!  
> So, I'm currently sitting my A-Levels which are disgusting and causing me the utmost stress, but hey, this is how I procrastinate, and I'm almost done with them, yay!  
> Listen, thank you all for all the lovely comments on the first part. I've been writing and uploading my shit for seven years now, and I still get super excited at every nice comment and word of praise. What can I say, I'm an attention whore!  
> My writing style is usually witty and funny, and to have the sheer level of fluff and cuteness in the last part was a little bit cringe for me, I'm a lover of one-liners in my work, and I'm hoping part two will reflect that a little more, as well as still being cute.   
> Also, Aquaria Blair and Vanessa call each other Q B and V and I started hating it after a while, but didn't want to change it, so, there's that.  
> I hope it lives up to your expectations, and you're not disappointed!  
> Yes, it's super long again. Sorry ;-)   
> NOTE PLS: AQUARIA HAS A PANIC ATTACK IN THIS PART. I'M SORRY. DON'T READ IF THAT WILL BE TRIGGERING FOR YOU.

When Aquaria wakes up the next morning, again, she’s terrified that this is all just going to be a one-night thing. She can tell Brianna is awake, her arms are still wrapped around the younger girl, but her breathing sounds normal. Both girls know the other one is awake, but neither of them want to move.

Eventually, Brianna starts to become desperate for a wee, and Aquaria’s phone starts buzzing, forcing them to move apart.

They smile timidly at each other, both feeling a little shy, before Aquaria turns away from the older girl to reach for her phone, and Brianna slips out of bed and pads over to the bathroom.

It’s Blair.

“Hey, B,” Aquaria’s voice sounds husky as its being used for the first time.

“Hello, madam, have you just woken up?” She can hear her best friend’s accusing tone on the other end, but she doesn’t care.

“Yes, and you’ll never guess where!”

There’s a pause, Blair registering the excitement in her best friend’s tone that she has only ever held for one girl.

“You’re kidding,” she breathes, a smile spreading across her face, matching Aquaria’s.

“I’ve never felt so lucky in my whole life,” she says happily, whispering enough so that Brianna can’t hear her.

“God, I have never heard you say anything so _cute_! You are coming over as soon as you leave and telling me absolutely everything,” Blair instructs her, Aquaria having no objection as she can’t wait to share the events of the night before.

Brianna comes out of the bathroom, looking fresh and beautiful despite having just woken up. Aquaria thinks she probably looks like a demon and it’s not fair, not knowing that the blonde has just desperately splashed water on her face, trying to look decent.

“Are you hungry? I’m hoping nobody’s still here,” Brianna asks. Aquaria’s stomach involuntarily grumbles, and she realises she hasn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, and nods timidly. She’s met with a warm smile, and the older girl leads the way through the house. It’s a complete mess, but thankfully everybody seems to have gone home. When they reach the kitchen, Monét and Yuhua, Brianna’s best friends, are sitting at the island. Well, Monét is elegantly sitting, sipping coffee, whilst Yuhua is slumped forwards with her forehead pressed against the surface, clearly hungover.

They both look up when the girls enter, and smirk, recognising that Aquaria is wearing Brianna’s clothing, and they look rather dishevelled.

“Well, well, well,” says Monét mischievously. “Poor Yuhua and I were forced to sleep on the sofa surrounded by empty bottles whilst you two were snuggled up in that queen-sized bed of yours.”

“Nobody asked you to stay, Monét,” Brianna teases, making her way over to the coffee machine. “You just did.”

Aquaria hovers in the doorway, not wanting to intrude on the friends.

“Coffee?” Brianna asks her, and she nods gratefully.

“Sit, child,” says Yuhua, beckoning her over. Aquaria awkwardly places herself down next to Monét, feeling a little more wanted by the two of them. “Holy fuck, I feel like death.”

“It’s your own fault, girl. You need to learn when to stop,” says Monét, Brianna laughing from the coffee machine.

“I know when to stop, I just _forget_ when I’m drunk. Whatever, I need at least a litre of coffee and I should be okay,” she grumbles, draining the rest of the cup.

Brianna comes over with a fresh pot, two mugs, sugar and cream, effortlessly carrying it all in arms that Aquaria knows are stupidly strong. She sits herself down next to the younger girl, close enough that their thighs are touching, and Aquaria flushes red at the contact as she thanks her for the coffee, taking a mug.

“I need to grab my dog from next door,” Brianna says, thinking of the cleaning and fixing up she needs to do of the house before her mom gets home tomorrow to make it look like nothing has happened.

“Speaking of dogs,” Yuhua says. “Monét?”

“Ben seems ever so full of regret,” Monét chips in, referring to Brianna’s ex-boyfriend. She glances at Aquaria and adds, as an afterthought, “sorry, Aquaria.”

“It’s fine,” the girl replies quietly, busying herself by stirring sugar into her coffee.

“I literally couldn’t care less about that dick,” Brianna snaps defensively, purposely bumping her knee against Aquaria’s.

“Sorry, I just thought I would mention-”

“Well don’t, he can go to hell.”

“Well, I’m glad we got that out the way, damn,” Monét chuckles.

“I’m not apologising,” says Brianna, blowing on her coffee and taking a sip.

Aquaria’s phone buzzes, again, on the table. It’s Blair, again. Everybody looks at her. Reluctantly, she sighs and picks it up, deciding to drop a subtle hint that she doesn’t want to talk.

“B, I love you, but-”

“Sorry, Q, but your mom’s just arrived at my house and I’ve told her you’re still asleep!”

_Fuck._

“Um,” says Aquaria, standing up, already missing the contact with Brianna. “I have to go, before my mom murders me.”

“Do you need a ride?” Brianna offers without hesitation.

This time, Aquaria gratefully accepts the offer and she rushes up the stairs to grab her stuff.

“Well, she’s someone,” says Monét after she’s safely out of the kitchen, Yuhua nodding in agreement.

“Don’t talk shit, Monét. I really like her.”

“Girl, we can tell,” says Yuhua. "Just don't fuck it up."

“I really don’t _want_ to. She’s-”

“Okay!” Aquaria cuts her off, appearing in the doorway, breathless and sweaty.

“See you later!” yells Yuhua as the girls leave, Brianna leading the way to her car.

The car ride is filled with Aquaria anxiously bouncing her leg up and down and chewing her lip, her mind occupied by how the hell she’s going to get past her mom and into Blair’s room. Brianna steals glances at her when her eyes aren’t focused on the road, sad that she has to go so soon. She was hoping that Aquaria could at least meet her dog.

When they reach Blair’s house, Aquaria can see the back of her mom’s head in the living room where the curtains are open and starts freaking out.

She hurriedly takes off her seatbelt and opens the door, about to leap out when Brianna grabs her arm.

“Aquaria, I know you need to go, but I just wanted to say, I had a good time with you last night. I hope you know you weren’t just a rebound for me. I want to see you again,” she says confidently. Aquaria is thrown off a little, but turns around in her seat and plants a soft kiss on her lips.

“I know. I really have to go,” she replies, smiling before jumping out of the car and slamming the door. Brianna offers her a small wave, which she returns, before driving off.

Panicking, Aquaria runs around the side of Blair’s house, through the gate and into her back garden. _Now what?_ She thinks, pulling out her phone to text her friend when she sees a text already from her illuminated on her phone.

**B: Climb the tree!**

_Excuse me?_

Aquaria glances around and spots the huge oak tree in Blair’s garden, with branches reaching up to the windows on the house. This _can’t_ be what she means.

**Q: open ur window bitch**

A few moments later, Blair’s window above her head opens, and her face pops out, grinning.

“I know it sounds insane!” she hisses, trying not to be heard by anyone else in the house. “But it’s not that hard, I’ve done it before!”

“Do I look like the tree climbing type?” Aquaria hisses back.

“Do you want to go round and ring the doorbell and explain to your mom why you lied to her?!” comes the reply.

“It seems like a better option right now than breaking my neck!” Aquaria protests, looking at how high up the tree is.

“Stop complaining and do it!”

Aquaria groans. “Ugh, fine.”

She chucks her purse and heels up to Blair, who catches them neatly, and makes her way over to the base of the tree, trying to decide the best way to approach it. She’s never climbed a tree in her _life_.

 _I bet Brianna would be good at this_ , she thinks as she secures her bare foot in a ridge in the tree and attempts to push herself up. It’s not easy, but Blair’s right and it isn’t the hardest thing she’s ever done.

After a lot of effort, Aquaria finally manages to heave herself up to be level with Blair’s window, who is clapping silently in support. Her muscles ache like hell.

“Now just crawl along the branch!” Blair calls across to her

“ _Now just crawl along the branch_?” Aquaria repeats in disbelief, looking at how thin it is.

“Q, it’ll be fine, you weigh like nothing. I’ve done it before,” Blair rolls her eyes, extending her arms and beckoning her friend.

“Yeah, but you’re a lot shorter than me,” Aquaria grumbles. Nonetheless, she’s got this far, so she wraps her legs around the tree branch and reaches her arms out, pushing herself along like a snail. When she finally reaches the window, Blair grabs her by the wrists and starts to pull her in.

Aquaria has finally landed in her best friend’s bedroom, and is about to say something about the _nail she’s broken_ , when the fucking doorknob starts turning.

Barely having time to breathe, Aquaria’s fight or flight reaction kicks in and she dives straight into Blair’s huge bed, burying herself in the covers as her mom’s face pokes around the door.

“Oh, you are awake!” she exclaims when seeing her daughter’s face. “Honey, I’m meeting some friends for brunch soon, so we need to leave in ten minutes, _maximum_ , okay?”

Aquaria just mumbles into the pillow, feigning sleepiness as much as she can, blinking heavily at her mom, who smiles and leaves, closing the door again.

As soon as she’s going, Aquaria rips back the covers and sits up, Blair racing forwards and joining her on the bed.

“Oh. My, god,” Aquaria breathes.

“You've got a twig in your hair,” Blair says, laughing as she pulls it out. “Look at you, you’re a ninja!”

“Never make me do that again,” her friend hisses, the brunette simply laughing, before slapping her arm gently in anticipation.

“So? Tell me everything! And those are _not_ your clothes!”

“Literally every single one of my dreams have come true, B. I am floating on cloud a million,” the taller girl sighs, flopping back on Blair’s bed dramatically and spreading her arms out, a huge smile taking over her face.

“So Brianna’s not just some straight girl that’s going to hurt you again?” 

“No, the way she kissed me, Blair, it was like, I can’t even describe it. And she told me she wants to see me again.”

“I can’t believe this! All these years-”

“It’s not even been two-”

“Of pining, and the first time you talk to her you manage to score. You are quite something, Aquaria,” the brunette grins at her.

“Oh, shut up, who was that you disappeared off with?” Aquaria teases, watching her best friend’s face flush bright red.

“Nobody, nothing happened,” Blair mumbles, and her best friend finds it hard to believe her. She’s about to pry Blair for more information when she hears her mom calling her from downstairs.

“Aquaria, we’re leaving!” she yells.

“Is she serious, it’s been like thirty seconds,” Aquaria grumbles, jumping off the bed and grabbing her stuff.

“ _Aquaria_!”

“Coming!” she yells down, before hugging Blair and saying her goodbyes.

Meanwhile, at Brianna’s house, she, Monét, Yuhua and her friend Dusty who has come to help, although all she’s mainly done is sit on Brianna’s couch playing with her dog, are in intense clean-up mode.

All she can think about, however, as she fills bags with cans and bottles, food wrappers and plastic cups, is the gorgeous sophomore she spent the majority of last night with. She’s practically dancing around her house like a Disney princess, grabbing everything in sight that will be suspicious when her mom gets home.

Brianna starts humming as she starts mopping vomit that’s in her bathroom. This person really didn’t know how to aim, and the vomit splattered literally everywhere, but in the toilet, it would seem. She doesn’t really care though, instead she’s singing along to some random Cher song that’s stuck in her head, happily scrubbing, gloves on her delicate hands.

“Cracker’s gone insane, everybody,” Yuhua announces as she walks past the bathroom, to Monét in the hallway who is cleaning spilt alcohol from the wooden floor.

“Nah, that’s just love,” she replies, herself not having a good time with the sticky mess in her best friend’s house, and she isn’t talking _about_ her best friend.

“I can hear you, bitches,” Cracker says from inside the bathroom, laughing, although her face is bright pink at the mention of the l-word. And no, it’s not lesbian, although that used to be just as scary to her.

She’s not in love with Aquaria, not _yet_ , at least, though it hasn’t taken long for her to worm her way into her heart, her beautiful face occupying most of her thoughts. Yes, she’s shy and awkward, but Aquaria had started to break out of her shell a little bit last night, and she couldn’t wait to see more insight into who she is.

“Are you going to date her?” Monét asks, sticking her head around the bathroom door for a second to see her best friend sitting on the floor, looking deep in thought, her gloved hands covered in someone else’s vomit.

“Yeah, I am. If she wants to,” she replies.

“Trust me, bitch, that girl wants to,” Monét smirks, wiggling her arched brows. Brianna looks up, confused.

“What?”

“She’s been ogling you since literally the birth of time. I think she’s obsessed with you,” Monét says nonchalantly.

“Why would she be, what’s so special about me?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Monét rolls her eyes at her oblivious friend. “You’re beautiful, idiot. I can’t believe you haven’t noticed her gazing at you like you’re the last bitch on earth.”

Brianna’s heart speeds up. Did the younger girl really think of her like that, or was Monét just fucking with her? Surely nobody thinks of her in that way?

“Maybe I should text her, or something. Or is it too soon? I don’t even think I have her number-”

“Cracker, there’s a dead guy in your mom’s room!” Yuhua interrupts Brianna’s ramblings with an ear-splitting scream.

“What fresh hell,” Brianna questions, slipping off her gloves and pushing herself up off the floor. Even Dusty has come upstairs to see what’s going on.

Sure enough, there’s a dude none of them even know lead across Brianna’s mom’s bed. He’s far from dead, though, snoring like a drain.

“Well, shit,” says Dusty, Brianna’s dog Mollie in her arms.

“I bet you could pull him out of here with your own two arms, Cracker,” says Monét, referring to her friend’s strength. “Just sling him over your shoulder and dump him on the street where he belongs.”

“Shut it, I am not that strong,” Brianna says, blushing a little. Everybody disagrees with her, all knowing that she could easily do it.

“What does Aquaria know about you, anyway?” asks Yuhua. Brianna is way more than meets the eye.

“Not a whole lot,” the girl sighs, scared that anything she reveals will come back to bite her in the ass.

“Let her know,” Dusty says simply, the other girls murmuring in agreement. The moment is weird, as they’re all stood in the doorway of Brianna’s mom’s room, each carrying something, a dog, a pair of gloves, a mop and a bin bag, respectively, staring at a random guy asleep on the bed. But, Brianna’s friends are crazy, she’s used to it, and she wouldn’t have them any other way.

Later that afternoon, Aquaria is lounging around with Blair and Vanessa at Vanessa’s house, eating ice cream, a rare treat for her, and scrolling through Brianna’s Instagram feed, which is disappointingly sparse.

Vanessa’s house is definitely the easiest one for them to hang out at, it’s in the middle of the three of their houses, and Aquaria and Blair can quite easily walk to it. Which suits Vanessa, the laziest bitch alive.

Aquaria and Vanessa have been trying all day to convince Blair to tell them who her mystery woman is, and she’s finally cracked to reveal that it’s a girl a year younger than them, and has told them all about the experience. Now, they’re talking about the newest fling that Vanessa is having, which is some junior guy that smells like ham, apparently, but in a good way, whatever that can possibly mean. Aquaria does not get straight people. She discards her phone after all day of staring at the same three pictures on Brianna’s feed. It’s about four, and she misses the blonde an annoying amount.

As if on cue, Aquaria’s phone pings. She looks at her two best friends, despite being popular they’re the only people who normally text her, confused. Picking up her phone, however, she starts screaming when she opens her message, jumping and down, punching her free fist in the air.

“Is this Aquaria standing before me or has she been possessed by a huge lesbian demon?” Vanessa ponders as Blair stares at her friend’s unusual behaviour in shock.

“ **Hey, Aqua** ,” Aquaria reads from her phone scream, squealing slightly. “ **I got your number from Monét, I hope that’s okay. I just wanted to say again thank you for last night, I had a really good time with you. I know it’s only been a few hours since we saw each other, but I was wondering if you wanted to come over later since my mom’s not home until tomorrow, I thought we could have a movie night or something. Brianna.** And then she put a smiley face, and _two kisses_!”

“Just to let you know, Q, this is the most tragic thing I have ever seen,” Vanessa teases as Aquaria does a dance around her living room, shaking everything she’s got.

“Shut it, V, you know it’s nice to see her happy. Brianna is apparently just as whipped,” Blair comments.

Aquaria falls back on the couch, not even listening to her friends, breathing heavily from her victory dance and staring at the words on her screen still. Brianna wants to see her again, and _so soon_. She must be on the blonde’s mind, just as she’s been invaded by her.

“I’m still wearing her clothes!” the black-haired girl exclaims, having not wanted to take off her hoodie earlier. “I need to go home and change! And shower! And _shave_! Not in that order!”

She gets up again, grabbing her purse.

“Aquaria, you also need to actually text her back,” Blair pipes up.

“Oh, right. Oh my god, what do I say that doesn’t make me sound completely desperate?!”

“Okay, how’s this?” she clears her throat. “ **Hi Bri, I would love to come over, in a situation where there’s not a load of people around lol. I’ll see you later. Smiley face, two kisses**?”

“Desperate whore!” Vanessa yells, causing the girls to burst into laughter.

Aquaria practically runs home, yelling a hello to her mom, who isn’t even there, before stripping free of Brianna’s clothing, folding it all in a little pile, and taking a long shower, thoroughly cleaning her hair and body.

She doesn’t want to think _too_ hard about her outfit, but she’s also Aquaria, which means of course she’s going to. She picks out a pair of cropped distressed skinny jeans, a cute mesh top, and decides to go for a minimal makeup look, which some girls may describe as a full face. Brianna is picking her up in ten minutes, and she’s nervous. The girl was drunk last night, which means she was more into Aquaria than she probably would normally be. What if she’s got this wrong? What if she fucks it up?

She’s pacing around her room like a lunatic, not knowing what to do with herself, when her phone pings. It’s Brianna, letting her know she’s outside. Aquaria squeals, very uncharacteristically, grabbing her bag containing Brianna’s clothes plus everything she needs for the night. She leaps down the stairs two at a time, almost breaking her neck and flings the door open, slamming it behind her.

The blonde looks up from where she’s sitting in the car, and beams at Aquaria.

“Hi,” the black-haired girl says timidly as she climbs gracefully in the car, her confidence around the older girl still lacking.

“Hi,” Brianna repeats, before starting the engine. “I don’t really have any food at my house, so I was thinking we could grab something, or just order takeout? I don’t mind.”

Normally, Aquaria _hates_ fast food and anything bad for your body, and she’s already had ice cream today. She’s about to lie and say she’s already eaten, but this is _Brianna_ here. What could go wrong with one pizza?

“Let’s order takeout,” she smiles. At least then, she can have a little more control over what she does and doesn’t eat.

Brianna’s house is spotless again. She’d woken up the sleeping boy by hitting him aggressively with a pillow, and kicked him out, not literally but close to it, and then the girls managed to return the home to normal, before they all left and Brianna was alone with her thoughts of Aquaria. She busied herself by pulling out the sofa-bed in her living room and setting up blankets so she could have a movie night, but when she was finished, she decided there was only one person she wanted to spend it with.

“This is so cute!” Aquaria exclaims as they walk into the living room, jumping directly in the middle of the bed and wrapping herself in blankets. Her hair is in two French braids, messy but stylishly so, leaving black wisps framing her features. Brianna grins at her, obviously thinking she’s the cute one.

Aquaria takes the time to look the blonde up and down, and is not disappointed. She’s wearing the _tightest_ jeans she’s ever seen, and a baggy white crop top with _USA_ simply printed on it. Her hair is pulled into a ponytail, her makeup light, yet still accentuating all her features.

“Are you checking me out, Miss Aquaria?” Brianna smirks, noticing the younger girl’s gaze linger on her body, specifically her thighs. The girl blushes slightly, but her eyes flitter up to the blonde’s face, and there’s a gleam in them.

“How could I not be?” Aquaria’s teeth pull her lower lip mischievously. Brianna giggles and heads over to the sofa, pulling up the blankets and snuggling in beside her. Despite pretending to be, she’s not particularly confident and doesn’t view herself as attractive at all, but still, she can appreciate the compliment.

The two cuddle for a little bit, enjoying each other’s embrace, before Brianna’s stomach rumbles, and she sits up, grinning.

“Food?” she asks. Aquaria nods eagerly, hungry suddenly. They order pizza, because the younger girl wants to, and, after she’s hung up the phone, Brianna goes over to the TV and starts rifling through her DVDs.

She’s fucking _bent over_ , her perfect ass in the air, stretching against the fabric of her jeans. Aquaria is vaguely aware that she is saying something about her collection of movies, but she’s not listening to a word. Her mouth is dry, her lips parted, her heart feels like it’s about to explode.

 _She’s got to be doing this on purpose_ , Aquaria’s mind is whirring away, lost in thought. Brianna looks over her shoulder at her, and she forces her eyes up to meet hers.

“Aqua? You okay?”

She looks so innocent, eyes shining with confusion, whereas Aquaria’s are hazed over with lust.

The younger girl sits up and crosses her legs, letting her tongue run across her lips.

“Brianna,” she says. “Get over here.”

The blonde doesn’t need to be told twice. Something about the command in Aquaria’s voice turns her knees to jelly, and she wordlessly walks over to the girl, climbing back into the bed.

Their lips meet and the kiss is different this time, hungry and lustful, each girl pushing for control. Brianna’s hand rests on Aquaria’s mid-thigh, gently stroking the inside of it with her thumb, sending shocks through Aquaria, who moans into the kiss. This sits well with Brianna, who applies more pressure onto the girl’s thin leg, slowly bringing her hand further upwards. Desperate to keep up, Aquaria locks her fingers in Brianna’s hair, pulling slightly at the base of her ponytail and earning a moan of pleasure in response.

Detaching her lips from Aquaria’s mouth, the blonde starts to kiss along her neck, leaving marks upon her pale skin. The younger girl is biting her lip so hard she can taste blood, her head tilted back to allow easier access.

Suddenly, it all changes.

Neither of them are sure what happens, but Aquaria starts to shake and she has to _get out_. She pulls away from Brianna and pushes the blankets off her, her throat closing in, before mumbling that she has to go to the bathroom, and running upstairs.

Brianna sits in her living room, completely confused. Yes, she initiated the contact, but she thought Aquaria wanted it. She curses herself for not being sure of the younger girl’s consent and pushing her too far. A tear slips down her cheek.

Meanwhile, Aquaria is curled in a ball on the same bathroom that was covered in vomit earlier that day, shaking all over. Tears are streaming down her cheeks and she’s sweating, her heart racing and bile rising in her throat.

 _What is going on?_ One minute she was enjoying the intimate touch of the blonde that has stayed on her mind for so long, and the next thing she knows she feels as though she’s about to throw up. She’s fucked everything up, and she knows it, too.

Brianna stands outside, wondering what to do. If Aquaria hates her, the last thing she’s going to want to do is to speak to her, but she has to make sure she’s okay. Her care for the black-haired girl wins, and she knocks timidly on the door.

“Aquaria? Look, I’m so sorry that I pushed you, I hope you know I would never have done anything without your full consent. Are you okay?”

Aquaria doesn’t reply at first. She feels _so_ embarrassed, but Brianna seems genuinely concerned, so she mumbles that she can come in, if she wants.

The door is pushed open, and Brianna gasps when she sees Aquaria on the floor, rocking back and forth, shaking like a leaf with tears streaming down her face.

The amount of times she has seen her brother go through this means Brianna knows exactly what’s happening.

“Aqua,” she whispers softly, kneeling down in front of the vulnerable girl. “I think you’re having a panic attack.”

She’s trying not to scare her, but Aquaria starts to sob harder. This has _never_ happened to her before. Her fingers dig into her knees, and she squeezes her eyes shut.

“I’m going to hug you, is that okay?”

Aquaria nods vigorously, and Brianna sits next to her, wrapping the girl in her arms, rocking back and forth with her.

“Shh, baby, it’s alright, I’ve got you,” she whispers into her ear softly, trying her best to calm down the younger girl.

Eventually, Aquaria stops shaking and her breathing returns to normal. She pushes herself further into Brianna’s embrace, breathing in her scent and her warmth.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles. Brianna squeezes her tighter.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, baby,” Brianna reassures her. “Seriously I-”

They’re interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Oh, _fuck_ , the pizza.

“I should get that,” Brianna says, as the doorbell rings aggressively, three more times. She reluctantly slips out of Aquaria’s embrace, yelling that she’s coming as she races down the stairs, grabbing her wallet that’s by the door.

The delivery man looks impatient, so Brianna gives him a twenty and tells him to keep the change, despite it being a ridiculous overcharge for pizza.

She turns to go through the living room, where the stairs are, and sees Aquaria sitting on the sofa, looking forlorn. She looks up as the blonde enters, tears still glistening in her eyes.

“I feel so stupid,” she mumbles, picking at the nail she broke climbing Blair’s tree.

“Don’t, okay?” Brianna says, putting the pizza box on the table and sitting down next to her. Aquaria nods, but she can’t look at her, and embarrassment is clear on her face. “Okay, I’m going to tell you something about me now so you don’t feel stupid.”

Aquaria glances at her, willing her to go on. The blonde takes a deep breath.

“My little brother used to get really badly bullied, like horrifically so. He’s only two years younger than me, so even though I knew what was going on, I couldn’t do anything about it. I only just pass five foot, and the boys who were beating him up were all so much bigger than me, and could easily destroy me, but I just couldn’t let it happen. My brother was riddled with anxiety and depression, and he used to be physically sick daily, and have panic attacks all the time, like yours. It broke my heart. So, I started taking karate lessons, hoping to be able to defend him. It worked, a bit, I got strong enough to have them back off, but I didn’t even know what was going on. I got stronger and stronger. I have a black belt now, but it takes _forever_ , even though I had so much determination to get there. Anyway, I started beating up the kids who were hurting my brother. I broke ribs, Aquaria. Noses. I was excluded from school for two weeks, and asked to leave my karate trainer. My mom immediately pulled my brother out of school, and he’s at boarding school right now, having a great time. But I know for a fact that it still affects him. And I still can’t get the image of breaking bones out of mind, sometimes. It keeps me awake.”

Aquaria’s in literal shock. Her mouth is hanging open at the story, and Brianna looks embarrassed. Well, it explains her strength, but Aquaria can hardly believe that this girl, so _sweet_ , is capable of hurting people.

“That’s really incredible, that you did that, for your brother. Really, Bri, its – _you’re_ – amazing,” Aquaria breathes, admiration evident in her tone.

“Do you think so?” Brianna asks shyly.

Aquaria nods, and runs her hand along Brianna’s arm, noticing her muscles for the first time.

“I’ve always hated them,” the blonde says, looking down at Aquaria’s tracing fingers. “They just feel kind of manly to me.”

“Brianna, you could crush a guy’s head with your bare hands. They’re not manly, they’re fucking _badass_ ,” Aquaria marvels. Her mind is off the panic attack, a little.

“I’m a complicated person, Aquaria. I’m layered, and reserved, and I don’t open up very easily. But, there’s something about you that makes me want to spill it all,” the blonde admits.

“Then spill. Really. Listen, I think you are the most gorgeous human on the planet. Both inside and out. I have been admiring you since I first saw. I’m not joking when I say I was blown away by your beauty. You make my head spin, literally, apparently. These last 24 hours have made me realise just how incredible you are, and you are truly the sweetest person ever, I don’t care how many bones you’ve broken. Until you break my heart,” she rambles. Brianna blushes, but then laughs a little.

“Your heart is not a _bone_ , Aquaria.”

“It’s not? Well, what is it then?” The black-haired girl seems genuinely confused

“A muscle? Are you – you know what, forget it. I’m hungry,” Brianna’s laughing, as she opens the pizza box and shoves a slice in her mouth.

They eat, laughing comfortably.

“I’ve never had a panic attack before,” says Aquaria sadly, still unsure what caused it.

“They _happen_ , just don’t get caught up in it, okay?”

“Okay…”

“Promise me.”

“I _promise_. I want to know more of these layers of yours. And, also, why you went for me. Of all people. And call me baby again.” 

Brianna laughs, swallowing her mouthful, deciding what to say next.

“Okay, listen, I’m the most insecure person you’ll ever meet. I try and hide it, but sometimes I _hate_ myself. That’s why I hate parties. Well, normally. I’ve had issues with my sexuality for the longest time, but I guess it just doesn’t matter to me what the gender is. I’m not going to lie, when I saw you sitting on my swing looking like you had so much care in your heart, I wanted you. You are pretty fucking unique, _baby_. And I literally haven’t been able to get you off my mind, ever since. I just want to be with you, and that’s all I care about, right now.”

“I can’t have you hating yourself,” Aquaria shakes her head. “Not when you’re at beautiful as you are.”

“Stop,” Brianna flushes pink.

“Nope, not until you believe me,” the younger girl grins, lying back in the bed, having finished all the pizza she wants. Brianna joins her, and they lie in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts.

“I think I got scared,” Aquaria breaks the silence. “I’ve never felt so many emotions, all at once. It was a _lot_.”

“As long as you’re okay,” Brianna replies, reaching out and taking her hand.

She is. They watch a movie, but neither of them care about it, both too lost in their own worlds as they cuddle on the bed.

Aquaria drifts off to sleep in Brianna’s arms, for the second night in a row, and she’s as content as possible.

And yes, she continues sneaking around to hide from her mom. But it’s exciting, and Blair and Vanessa are all too eager to help her, and it’s worth it. For Brianna. She would probably do anything for that girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-wOyNiQtUg


End file.
